Et tu, Wells Fargo?

I love Wells Fargo. I really do.

So when the whole "Occupy ____" thing started, I was a little mixed about my own bank. B of A? Sure — they're greedy asses who deserve to go bankrupt. I had my first bank account with them ever in 1992 when they had just bought NCNB... and I left them after four years because they wanted to charge me all sorts of ridiculous fees, including one to talk to a teller. Seriously.

But Wells Fargo? They've been really good to me. (Full disclosure: Long after I opened my account, my sister worked for them for about three years(?), and her mother-in-law was a banker for them as well, so I always had great access to anything I needed.)

Wells Fargo had a strong network in most of the states I traveled to (especially after taking over Wachovia). Checking was basically free to me because I had direct deposit attached to my checking account. Sure, I had a savings account that drew about 2¢ a month in interest, but it was free. I opened up a business checking account in around 2001 or so, and it came with a fee... I just bit the bullet on that one.

With this movement, Wells Fargo's intent on testing out a fee for using a debit card (don't you have enough profit?) and some internet research on other alternatives, I've decided to make the jump. I opened up a very free-use-any-ATM-for-free and get-interest-on-checking account at Schwab (which is where I have my brokerage, and I briefly worked for a year). I already put money into savings accounts at two credit unions a few years ago to help my plight the next time I need, say, a car loan.

But my disappointment comes with my last run into a lobby to simply deposit a check.

The process should have taken all of about two minutes; it was my first stop on my lunch break, and I was hungry. The line inside was shorter than the drive-through.

The teller helpfully let me know that there was a credit card I was "pre-approved" for (I hate that word) and it had 0 percent APR for the first year, including balance transfers. (Oddly enough, I had been looking into a balance transfer opportunity, because I have a gas card and one old B of A (!) card that have some truly heinous interest rates.) So, I told her that it sounded good. She dashed over to a phone to summon a "personal banker."

The banker, who we'll call "Ben" was young, fresh out of college (he reminded me of his college about 13 times), and eager to explain all the benefits of the card. I let him know that I was on my lunch break and didn't have much time. He was good about hurrying things through, and had most of the info in the computer in a matter of minutes to find out if I was truly "approved."

The problem comes in not with the branch (who really shouldn't put quotas for selling products on their tellers), but with the credit card application process. To ascertain if I was "approved" or not, "Ben" told me he needed to do a quick credit check for $1. Turns out that Wells Fargo has a partnership with a company called Trilegiant. They get scores from all three credit-rating companies, including FICO scores. Not a bad deal, considering it got me a credit card almost instantly and I walked out with a copy of my credit history from all three agencies.

I should have known something was up when "Ben" advised me to call Trilegiant the very next day and cancel. Cancel what? Well, with that $1, I had just signed up for monthly "identity theft monitoring," and there would be a monthly reoccurring charge (around $15) for their "service." I had to call and cancel. Great. Thanks, Wells Fargo.

So the very next day, I first went to the website that "Ben" had helpfully given me and selected "cancel." The screen said I had canceled. Still, I felt uneasy. So I called later that afternoon and was met with an oh-so-eager agent who told me that canceling online was impossible, and that I had to do it over the phone. I knew I was in for a ride.

Why was I canceling? (I don't need it. Please just cancel it.) Do you have another identity theft protection plan? (Yes. I just want to cancel.) Does theirs do X? (Yes. Please just cancel this.) What if we lower your monthly fee? (No. Just cancel!) Finally, reluctantly and defeated, the agent agreed to cancel my "service."



So... I'm really unhappy with Wells Fargo's unholy alliance with this company, Trliegiant. It's unnecessary, shady, and complicates a simple, happy relationship I've had. And to top things off, a quick search of Trilegiant brings up all sorts of complaints. Check here and here.

So, Wells, thanks for the credit card... but you've cemented my decision to move on. It's been fun, and you've been good. I'll miss the stagecoach, but I have finally found solutions that make more sense. And knock it off with the Trilegiant stuff.

I'm dreading the day I go in there and officially close my checking and savings accounts. I know I'll be saying, "I just want to quit the gym!"