This is why I <3 FedEx

I didn't want to use UPS, but my I had to because I was shipping two packages from Texas to Canada, and FedEx wouldn't do an international shipment without an account number.

I have a FedEx account number, but it's for my personal use, and these shipments were going to billed to work. I wanted to use my corporate AmEx, so I trudged over to the closest UPS Store.

First of all, going from a FedEx Office to a UPS Store is a bit like going from a Starbucks to a roadside snowcone stand... One is a streamlined company operation that's consistently professional; the other is a franchised mom-and-pop operation where the frustrated elderly owners were shouting at each other across the room. A bad feeling already.

After all the paperwork was filled out, my packages were shipped and on their way with about a week's shipping time. Nothing wrong with that. I want to be clear here — I was shipping two personal items to myself (in two boxes) — from my home to my hotel room in Canada.

The next day at 8:45 a.m., I got a call from UPS Canada, claiming that they needed a credit card number for "brokerage fees" when the items cleared customs in Canada. The other option was for the hotel to accept them C.O.D, which of course they wouldn't. So I gave them my AmEx number.

(Now, having never shipped internationally before, I didn't even know what "brokerage fees" were, and the representative couldn't tell me.)

Later that day at 3:30 p.m., I got another call from UPS Canada asking the very same information. DId they lose it? No. Turns out, because there are two boxes, they hadn't linked them together they way FedEx does; it's as if two completely different people had sent two random packages. So once again I gave my AmEx number out for these mysterious charges. I just wanted my boxes delivered on time.

So today is delivery day. One box gets delivered. One doesn't. The reason why? "The Receiver Did Not Have Funds Available On The 1St Delivery Attempt. A 2Nd Delivery Attempt Will Be Made."

In other words, on one box, UPS tried to deliver C.O.D. despite my giving them my AmEx number not once, but twice.

So I call UPS, and get routed to a second number to call. I call, and am told that I owe money. "But you have my credit card number..."

"No, we don't."

"But one package was delivered... how?"

*typing... typing... typing...* "Well, that package had a credit card, but you have brokerage fees outstanding on this package. Would you like to pay by phone with a credit card now?"

"Sure. Will my package be delivered today?"

"No. Tomorrow."

"Fine. Here's my card number ... How can I get a receipt for these brokerage fees?"

"Your credit card statement is a receipt."

*silent rage* "No, you see, I have to turn in receipts to my company for every charge I make on the card I just gave you. Isn't there something beyond the credit card statement? In the U.S., merchants have to provide receipts when a purchase is made."

"Well, we can generate an invoice, but that will take two weeks."

"Thanks."

Way to go, UPS. That's what brown did for me today.

U.S. law enforcement continues to scapegoat

So much of our national psyche as Americans can be traced to the Puritans.

We hate sex and sinning, but we secretly want it and buy it in hidden places. We have a loud disdain for anyone who isn't "moral" or religious, yet atheists are a large group in this country, and morals are individually-determined.

And of course, we share our forefathers' love of scandal and shaming (c.f. The Scarlet Letter).

This might explain our country's law enforcement system's obsession with shame.

In Britain, where our laws are based, when a person is arrested, law enforcement does not identify the person arrested They would simply say, "a 30-year-old woman was arrested on suspicion of theft." This is pretty simple: the woman hasn't been found guilty yet, and she may never be. So to publicly identify her serves no purpose.

Compare that to the U.S., where the minute someone is arrested, police are happy to release the names of those who have been arrested, along with booking mugshots. Never mind that these people have probably been released and likely have no even gone before a magistrate. They may never be found guilty, and statistics show that more often than not, charges are dropped and the person is never convicted of any crime.

Worse is that the media picks up on this. In big cases, TV and large newspapers jump on it, but usually the lowest of the low, small-town "community" newspapers fill their pages with listings of names of people who have been arrested. It's downright bizarre.

"John Smith, 30, of Jonestown, was arrested on a charge of burglary."

Makes for compelling reading, eh? What happens when the police realize they got the wrong guy? Too late: John's name's already been released and published.

He's been treated like Richard Jewell. Remember him? If not, Google him or Wikipedia him sometime. You'd think we would have learned a lesson as a society by now. But no.

And further in our quest to shame the most is our bizarre fascination with "sex offenders." Of course, I think everyone understands the danger a violent person like a rapist of child molester poses. But under most laws I've seen, a 17-year-old who commits statutory rape has committed a sexual offense and must register for life as a sex offender. And this is where the absurdity begins. What danger does this 17-year-old pose? Why is his life ruined forever?

Further, do we, or do we not believe in our penal system as a "correctional" system, as we call it? Do we trust it to rehabilitate inmates, as the mission statements say? If we do, then why would we continue to punish and shame AFTER the inmates are released? If they are "unfixable," then why release them? If someone is sentenced to 20 years, isn't it just wrong and un-American to keep punishing them after they've served their time?

When does it stop?

We've gone too far in this country with the concept of shaming people for its own sake. It doesn't do anything except titillate (in the case of releasing arrest reports) and provide a false sense of security (in the case of sex offender registries).

Do you think the US is any safer than the UK?

I think not.

FOX News does not have an opposite, folks

You'd think the folks with the journalism degrees would get it right: "FOX News" isn't news. I can call myself a doctor, but it doesn't make me a surgeon.

But along the way to bizarrely defend FOX, some have decided to try to use MSNBC in their logic. The thinking is that if FOX is slanted to the right, then MSNBC is equally slanted to the left.

So, so NOT true.

The good folks at Media Matters have tackled this headlong. And some of the worst perpetrators are the folks you would expect to know better. Names like CNN. The Baltimore Sun. The Washington Post.

Media Matters has an amazing take on the difference between FOX, MSNBC and the rest of the media on their website. Here's a preview:

And so [CNN's Campbell Brown] ignores it all -- ignores what actually happens on Fox News and on MSNBC, and simply asserts that they're the same. Is that what Campbell Brown thinks journalism is about? Completely ignoring facts and evidence, and just making baseless assertions? No wonder she defends Fox.

The column is here.

Windows 7 is here...

Have you had enough?

Burger King grossed me out — royally

I don't expect much from fast food. I know better.

But when I stopped by the Burger King #2484 at 1920 E 42nd St in Odessa, Texas, on Tuesday, Oct. 13, for a quick lunch, I guess I just expected a typical burger experience. What I got was shocked even me.

First, I was greeted by the lovely girl at the right whose neck was covered with hickeys on both sides. That just screams professional, doesn't it?

She wasn't the only offender, either — just the worst. Two other workers had hickeys. I guess people haven't figured out how to make out correctly in West Texas, and Burger King management haven't figured out how to enforce a dress code. So there went part of my appetite.

I ended up only ordering about $3 worth of food after seeing that.

Next, I go to get my drink. In my amazement over being surrounded by more hickeys than I've ever seen in one place (and I used to be a high school teacher!), I hadn't noticed that about 42,378,438,743 high school kids had come in behind me and started ordering next to me. Some had already gotten their food and had beaten me over to the drink station.

One group of guys was doing battle with the ice machine which wasn't dispensing ice. He and his friends were telling each other in Spanish that the ice was stuck, and just to take the top off the machine and push the ice down. To my horror, that's exactly what they did — one of the kids opened up the top of the ice dispenser and put his unwashed hands (that had God-knows-where) all over the ice and forced it down.

I think I threw up a little in my mouth and started thinking (a) I don't want a drink now, and (b) What is the number of the Ector County Health Department?

Just then I hear a voice from one of the Hickey Girls behind the counter — "Hey, don't put your hands in there!" Great! Some sanity... they're going to empty the ice out and refill it. Excellent.

Nope... she just brings some sort of metal stick over and forces the ice even further down. I took my empty cup and left. I grabbed a bottle of Sierra Mist™ from a convenience store down the road.

Burger King, this is not acceptable. To be fair, I know you're not alone. I've worked with enough teenagers to know that there are far worse stories about food service to make this one pale in comparison (c.f. the movie "Waiting"). But the hickey thing is completely within your control.

I've always believed in voting with my dollars. From this point forward I'm taking my money and going somewhere else.

Don't fall for Minimum Credit Card Purchases again

Ever seen those signs in stores that say "Credit card minimum purchase $5?" Turns out that's totally not allowed.

Time to call 'em out. Find out how here.

10 Lessons for Teabaggers

From CrooksAndLiars.com:

Back in April, The Daily Show's Tax Day outburst, thousands of vein-popping Obama opponents descended Saturday on Washington for Tea Party II. But while Glenn Beck's furious followers alternately slandered the President as a "fascist," a "communist" and worse, they remained unencumbered by either the thought process - or the truth.

Here, then, are 10 Lessons for Teabaggers:

1. President Obama Cut Your Taxes
2. The Stimulus is Working
3. First Ronald Reagan Tripled the National Debt...
4. ...Then George W. Bush Doubled It Again
5. Republican States Have the Worst Health Care
6. Medicare is a Government Program
7. Barack Obama is Not a Muslim
8. Barack Obama was Born in the United States
9. 70,000 Does Not Equal 2,000,000
10. The Economy Almost Always Does Better Under Democrats

More here.